Researching an inheritance

PinonPinon Posts: 26Member
edited October 2011 in Off-Topic Chat
Hello. I found out today my grandfather died a couple of months ago. The short version is I have been estranged from that side of the family(2 aunts and grandfather - my grandmother has already passed) since my mother's funeral. My brother is not great at staying in touch, but has had no problems with them. Neither of us were told when my grandfather died, and I believe that was b/c they did not wanting us to ask about an inheritance. I am angry. I am sad that my grandfather died and would have liked to have known. I'm not trying to overstate it - we didn't have much of a relationship, but my fight was w/ my aunts, not him. And if I am written out of his will - no problem. But if he had a will, I doubt he would have written my brother out. There may not have been a will. Does anyone know how to search out this info on the internet? I would rather do it quietly, so if I discover there was a will and we were not part of it I can just drop it. I am ssuming if there was no will and he had 3 daughters, one deceased, 1/3 of his assets should go to deceased daughter's children. Maybe I should just drop this, but I also feel like these 2 women have stold my mother her whole life, and maybe I shouldn't just let them do it again.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • litterbuglitterbug Posts: 3,636Member, Beta Tester
    Leaving the personal issues aside, you can find out whether they filed for probate in court by calling the court clerk. They might refer you to an online court database, or you may need to have them make copies of documents in the file. However, a lot of what happens in probate doesn't appear in court files. Perhaps someone with more experience will give more of an answer.
  • PinonPinon Posts: 26Member
    Now that I have chilled a little bit I probably won't bother to investigate. My aunts are very toxic people who my mother chose to distance herself and us from. And I was never looking to inherit - I just got angry when I felt they were trying to cheat my brother and I (and a much more neutral family member agrees that was probably the plan.) We went through this same sort of nastiness when my grandmother died (except to my mom, not me). And then a different nastiness when my mom died.
    I actually hope there is a will. If my brother and I are excluded then so be it. But if there is money I and I don't research it I am afraid it will eat at me. There might not even be money. And if I thought for a second my aunts had actually been helping my grandpa or taking care of him, I would feel fine about the idea that they got everything. But that is not very likely. Hmm. I may have just convinced myself to look into this!
    pinon
  • PatzerPatzer Posts: 3,794Member, Beta Tester
    Pinon wrote:
    Now that I have chilled a little bit I probably won't bother to investigate. My aunts are very toxic people who my mother chose to distance herself and us from. And I was never looking to inherit - I just got angry when I felt they were trying to cheat my brother and I (and a much more neutral family member agrees that was probably the plan.)

    My ex-wife came from a toxic family, which is part of the reason the marriage didn't survive. I learned when my FIL died a half week later, when my ex-wife's older brother called me. The family had been expecting the ex to call me, but she didn't. I was glad her brother gave me that courtesy call, which allowed me to at least send flowers.

    This isn't the way it works in all families, but in that family the will gave the assets to the children. The grandchildren, including my daughter, would not see anything directly from their grandfather. (A generation earlier in the same family, some grandkids inherited directly because their parents had predeceased the grandparents.)

    It appears there is a dance in that family where my ex may have been trying to cheat her brothers. I say "may have" to allow for the possibility that she honestly believed the things that her brother calls lies; I am in no position to determine the truth of the matters at issue. In addition to that drama, I expect the ex will spend every penny of her inheritance and my daughter will never see a cent. Emotionally, that's probably for the best; getting involved in that family could really throw daughter for a loop, and I'm don't particularly want to go there myself.

    The details of your family will be different from the details of my ex's family, but the flavor sounds similar. I'd urge you to contemplate what you might need to do to achieve emotional closure, and to make that a higher priority than finding any money that might legally be yours by right. Sometimes it's better to accept a small injustice than to fight and live with the resulting stress.

    Patzer
  • JaxiaJaxia Posts: 235Member, Beta Tester
    Patzer wrote:
    Sometimes it's better to accept a small injustice than to fight and live with the resulting stress. Patzer

    I need a "Heck ya!" button for this.

    Pinon, I'm sorry for your loss and for these difficult times. Patzer sums it up well. Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you peace.
  • PinonPinon Posts: 26Member
    Thanks everyone for helping me think it through. I decided I would research it a little bit, and discovered (by calling his county's probate court) that he did have a will. They are mailing me a copy. I expect we won't be in it - or someone would have already contacted me. That makes me feel better (believe it or not) b/c they weren't trying to cheat us. So I am going to wait to read the will, then call and give my condolences, then expect to have no further contact with them. I feel much more settled now.
    Pinon
  • PinonPinon Posts: 26Member
    The end of the story: I called the county my grandfather lived in and they sent me a copy of the will. Turns out he wrote everyone out of the will except 1 daughter who he left everything to. (The most toxic of them.) I am glad I researched it - I actually feel a little sorry for my other aunt. And I don't blame my grandfather (too much) b/c he was in his 90's when the will was written.
    Pinon
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